The Mustard Seed

It has been awhile since I've written a new post on here. Things have been pretty busy and I have had little time to write anything. But I guess, since this is a blog about what the Capuchin way of life is all about, me having little time says a lot about the way of life. lol. Between 15 hours of ministry a week, 10 hours of class a week, plus all the reading for those classes, and on top of that prayer, cooking, cleaning and trying to find time to just relax life gets to be pretty busy. Last week we had a visiting friar from the New York province come and give a week long class on Scripture. Being able to look at the world behind the text, the world of the text, and the world infront of the text which we all bring to scripture everytime we read it. What does it mean to us today? It was rather interesting. Yet at the same time challenging. For instance do you know the meaning behind Jesus telling the parable of the mustard seed? I thought I did until last week. It was surprising to find out that the real meaning of it isn't what's often preached about on Sundays. What is preached about on Sundays is the world infront of the text. What we can get out of it today. In Jewish history there was a set of laws which eventually became what we know as the Kosher Dietary laws which actually prohibited the planting of mustard seeds. Why? Because they were seen as invasive plants or weeds. And as Jesus says it grows large branches so that birds can come and nest in it. This is what he compared the Kingdom of God to. He compared it to a seed that was illegal to plant and was invasive and brought birds to nest in it. What farmer wants birds around? They destroy everything! Hence why we make scarecrows. So what is he trying to say? The message literally is that the Kingdom of heaven is not kosher. Which for the Jews was a huge challenge. The Kingdom of God is not meant to be something easy. It is a challenge to live it and bring it about. It takes us outside our comfort zones. It removes us from legalistic thinking. It's different. No one likes different. We to easily become comfortable with how things are always done. Myself included. So I learned a lot from this class. And it gave me things to think about. It is very easy to water down scripture and make it look all pretty. But really the Gospels pretty radical messages. Jesus himself was seen as a radical. So much so that they killed Him for it. What does this say for us today? I don't know. It is something we each have to think about. Something I will continue to discern for quite some time.

This last Saturday all of us postulants and our director, Fr. Bill, were invited by the OFM's in Chicago for prayer and dinner. It was a gathering of the 3 first orders of Franciscans. Us Capuchins, the OFM's and the Conventuals. There were probably about 45 all together. About 26 of us alone. So we were definately the majority. It was a great time. After prayer and dinner we ventured downstairs to find out that they had a karaoke machine. So there were about 20 some friars singing karaoke. Yea isn't that an interesting image? lol. It was so much fun. We got to meet and talk to different guys from the different orders and come together as a Franciscan family. Me and Michael, the guy from the Canadian Capuchin Province, stayed in Chicago overnight. We stayed at the post-novitiate house in Chicago. I always enjoy staying over and visiting there. It's a very young house which is a nice change of scenery for me being the youngest guy here in the house in Milwaukee. We left Sunday around noon and came back to having to prepare for presentations we have to give this week. This week is the Life of Francis with Fr. Bill. We each are giving presentations on a person or theme from the life of Francis. Mine is on Bishop Guido who was the bishop of the time of Francis. Let's just say things haven't changed much from college. I am still a huge procrastinator. I was up till 2am working on mine and then I didn't even have to give it today. O well. At least its done.

This weekend the postulants from the New York province will be here and we travel up to St. Lawrence, the high school seminary, up about an hour and a half north of here in Mt. Calvary Wisconsin. So I'm sure I will have lots to write about after that.

Peace and all good,
Jason

What is Poverty?

About once a month, instead of having class in the morning, the five of us postulants get together with Fr. Bill and Fr. Marty, our directors, to have a morning of reflection. Usually beforehand a topic is chosen and then they give us something to read about the topic along with some questions to think about and to prepare us to have a discussion about the topic. Today's topic was on poverty. Now for me personally the issue of poverty has weighed heavily on my heart. I don't think that I can say that I know what poverty is or what the best way to live it is. There are so many definitions, and ideas about what it means to live a life of poverty. Infact it has been this one issue of poverty that has been at the center of the many divisions within the Franciscan family. As a kid and as I entered into high school and thinking about religious life at the time, what always attracted me to religious life was the radical sense of material poverty. I was attracted to it for many reasons which I wont get into. And I think that maybe a small part of me may still be attracted to it. Coming into the Capuchin order the idea of poverty is different. And let me make myself clear that when I say different I do not mean it in a bad way. Like I said before there are many definitions of poverty. One is not better or worse than the other. Within the Capuchin community I will always be provided for. What I have is not my own. But we do have many good things. There is always food on the table, and with Capuchins it is always plenty of food. lol. I have a bed to sleep in, though small, is still more than what many have. I have a closet and dresser full of clothes, a bookshelf full of books, not all of which are mine. I have a sink in my room and a desk and my computer. I could go on and on with the things I have. the issue I brought up in our reflection is the question of how can I relate with and be empathetic with those who have absolutely nothing when I myself have never and probably never will experience the situation of having absolutely nothing. I can go and help at a soup kitchen, I can go and be the youth minister for inner city kids that have lived more difficult lives than I could ever imagine, I can go into a prison and visit the people there. I can do all these things, but I will never "KNOW" what it's like to have nothing. And I guess this bothers me a little bit. How can I relate? How can I minister? I have always been a man who has believed heavily in experience. It is our experiences that drive us to become who we are today. It is our experiences that help us to help others. So the issue of poverty is a troublesome one for me in all honesty. But at the same time by having what we need, being well fed, well rested, we are able to be better ministers. What we do have we take care of and cherish. We have been blessed as a community to have many great and holy benefactors that provide for our needs. So maybe I'm looking at it in the wrong way. Maybe instead to live a life of poverty is to be humble enough to be thankful for what we do have. Maybe poverty is realizing our dependence on God and relying on Him to provide for us, which He does through our benefactors. So maybe this is what poverty is. I don't know. It is something I struggle with and pray a lot about. And hopefully one day I will find the answer. Until that time keep me in your prayers.

Peace and all good,
Jason

Youth Group

As you may or may not know, my ministry for postulancy is working with the high school youth group at St. Francis parish in Milwaukee. Tonight was our third meeting. Each week we get at least one or two more kids coming. God has been good. We started our first meeting with 4 and now we are up about 8. So we have already doubled just within 3 weeks! Our first two meetings were just socials to hang out and get to know each other. Luckily the weather has been great each night we have it so we have a bonfire and cookout out in the courtyard of what used to be the old monastery. One of the high school guys introduced us to a great new version of making S'mores. You basically instead of putting the marshmellow and chocolate on graham crackers, use 2 keebler m&m cookies. It is sooooo good! So tonight since our last two nights were mostly socials, I decided to start mixing it up a little. I knew from asking them, that the kids really dont know what adoration is or understand the mass and the Eucharist. So tonight I started from the beginning talking about relationships in general which leads into relationship with God which will eventually lead into the Eucharist and adoration. Well tonight I wanted to get the point across that just like when you start a friendship with someone, to get to know them you have to spend time with them the same is with God. You have to spend time with Him. So I asked the question, How do you know Jesus is God? I wanted to drive home the point is that you know He is God because you spend time with Him and you get to know Him and He becomes very real to you as you spend time with Him. Well when I asked the question I got a response I was not expecting. The kids didn't even know Jesus is God. So in the best and most simplistic way I could I tried to explain the Trinity to them. I ended up using St. Patrick's 3 leaf clover model. lol. But what was amazing was that even though they didnt realize Jesus is God, God to them is very much real. As we talked about relationships they really opened up about how some of them have never had a relationship with one parent or the other. Or how friends have stabbed them in the back and feel like they can't trust anyone. So I asked, does that reflect your relationship with God in a negative sense? The answer was an overwhelming NO! "God is what keeps us going." "He's the one person we can talk to." It was a very eye opening experience and I am truly blessed to be here with these kids and learn from them as I hope they also learn from me. Please keep the group in your prayers as we continue to grow.

Peace and all good,
Jason

Transitus and Solemnity of our holy father Francis

It has been a very busy yet blessed weekend for us as Capuchins and for the entire Franciscan community world wide. Last night, Sunday Oct 3rd, we celebrated the night that our holy father Francis, passed from this world to the heavenly Father. All of us postulants and our director, Fr. Bill, went to Chicago to take part in the Transitus celebrations with our post novitiate houses there. One of the other postulants and I actually traveled down to Chicago on Saturday ahead of everyone else. The relic of St. John Bosco was in Chicago Saturday night and since he is the patron saint of youth and I work a lot with youth ministry I wanted to be able to go and venerate the relic. Which I did but thats a whole seperate story. Sunday night we began the Transitus at 7pm in the living room of the friary. There were probably about 30 friars, friends and affiliates of the community present. It was a packed house to say the least. It consists of 8 different "stations" recalling the story of Francis' death. After each reading we sang Christ be our light, which with over 30 people singing it, it was just beautiful. After the 7th station we processed to the chapel with the paschal candle and insense to do the last station which is Francis' death. Before he died he asked that bread be brought so that it would be broken and shared and so likewise we broke bread together as a rememberance of this final action of Francis. It was truly a very beautiful service. And as with any Capuchin event we had a big social afterwards with lots of good food. It was time spent as community, as brothers and sisters.

And so now today, Monday Oct 4th we celebrate the Solemnity of St. Francis. It is a solemnity for the Franciscan family world wide, but in the world wide Church it is only celebrated as a memorial. Very unfortunate I think. lol. Since it was our major feast day we got to sleep in and have morning prayer and mass start at 8 instead of 7. A whole hour! During the homily part of the mass Fr. Bill asked each of us, both professed and postulants, what it was that first drew us to St. Francis. It was interesting to hear the different stories from the rest of the community. My reason was this. Growing up as a kid who was living in a divorce situation and not always getting along with my parents, Francis always appealed to me as a kid. Because Francis did not have the best relationship with his family. They didnt understand why he was doing the things that he did. And as I grew up and when I started getting very involved in my faith and started going to morning mass before school started I always felt like I was not understood for doing what I was doing. And this is what started things, but it grew into much more than that. I was so attracted, as a kid and teenager who had very little peace or hope in his life at the time, to this man from Assisi who seemed to bring peace and hope with him wherever he went. He brought the peace and love and hope of God into the lives of many people who would not have received it otherwise. And hearing of this man who was able to do this I found myself wanting to do the same thing. And it's why I am so passionate about youth ministry because so many teens and young people in general are going through the same thing I went through. They have lost hope. They feel unloved, they feel alone, and they feel no one cares. Because I have been there I know the pain that comes from it and like Francis I hope that God can use me to bring His hope and love back into the lives of others. I just had a very powerful experience last week, and I wont give to many details, but he is a very good friend of mine who lives in the area and he experienced this loss of hope and feeling loved. And as I went to be with him and help him through it I came to see that this is in fact why I am where I am now, with the Capuchins. This is why I want to be a priest. It was a very profound experience. I thought to myself it was only 6 years ago when I was in his position and two of my friends were in the position I was that night. And it was because God sent people into my life who brought back that hope and that love that I am still here today. And now here I am giving back what I had received only 6 years ago. There is nothing more powerful to me than that. And I just had the peace in my heart that said this is where God wants me and this is the work God wants me to do. I only hope that He gives me the strength to do it. Becuase it is not an easy thing to see people you care about in so much pain. I thank God for my past, painful as it was, because without it I would not be the man I am today and I would not be here with the Capuchins giving back what I have been so blessed to receive. Happy Solemnity of St. Francis to you all. May the peace, love and spirit of Francis be with each one of you this day. God Bless.

Peace and all good,
Jason